On September 25, my surro bub, my womb mate, Baker, turned 1. I am finally in a good place (mentally and physically) to be able to absorb the joy from this amazing journey.
I’ve been to Matt and Brendan’s house over the year of course, and so have my kids (Emily 7 and Ewan 5), but his 1st birthday was the first time going with my husband Glen and the kids since the Sip and See party we had when Baker was 7 weeks old (come and Sip champagne and See the baby). On that day last November, as I walked down the driveway to their house, I had a panic attack and stopped twice with Glen and wasn’t sure if I could, or should, attend the party in the state I was in. I was a crying mess and was spiralling into post natal depression (PND). This time – it was joyful. I was able to greet their family and friends with big smiles and thank them all for their love and care of me last November when I was in a very different state.
I no longer feel like I’m a burden to Matt and Brendan, and I feel our friendship has balanced out to a lovely place. They have been true to their word all along about what our long term friendship would look like and I am so grateful to them for standing by me as I took this year to recover from the darkest pit I went to with my PND.
I will have one more (I’ve had many!) counselling sessions with Katrina Hale in a week and I look forward to sharing with her my joy and a sense of ‘we did it’. We did what we set out to do as 4 adults, and although it had ups and downs, we came out the other end and are still friends. I think navigating that first year post birth is just as hard as all the other parts of surrogacy, as we navigate our lives out of the project of surrogacy and into a new normal of what catch ups and contact looks like after birth.
They also gifted me a beautiful, huge bunch of flowers and a beautiful photo book with a quote on the front. In our busy lives, I deeply appreciate the time and effort that they have gone to to gather the photos, and plan and upload them. It’s these gifts of time and care in surrogacy that mean the world to us I think. I have carried it everywhere with me these last few days as a sort of Brag Book, and all the other people in my life who have seen it marvel over the photos they chose and the amazing adventure that was our surrogacy journey.
I look forward to the future and building a connection with Baker as he comes to understand how Aunty Anna and my kids are connected to his life. Thank you to you all for riding this journey with me and for letting me have this reflection and celebration.
I feel a deep peace and warm joy knowing that I have done something unique, something life changing. I feel proud and settled.Â
Happy birthday little man, and well done Dad and Pa for surviving the first year of parenting 🎉
Surrogacy Safari 